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13 Years Later

Feb. 18th, 2018 | 07:52 pm

I still have access to this.

I haven't thought about Hot Dogs for 13 years.

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September 21st: We miss you Hotdogs

Sep. 21st, 2005 | 04:37 am

Never thought I'd say that, but there's absolutely nothing worth posting without your incoherent babbling, Hotdogs! I hope you haven't ODed on panadol or anything after watching your own show. Come back to us soon.

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September 17th: Look out, Thomas the Tank Engine ;)

Sep. 17th, 2005 | 02:06 am

Hotdogs, for a complete asshat, was surprisingly composed this evening, which sure makes for a boring journal entry.

The first thing Hotdogs did upon opening his 'show' was point to the suit he was wearing and refer to it as a 'bag of fruit'... maybe this is just me, but WTF? He then referred to the telephone as the 'dog and bone' which I can sort of understand, but bag of fruit? It makes no sense. Hotdogs deserves a tree for this.

You see what I did there? "Yeah I do, and it makes no... OHHHHH!" Exactly.

So, the first game was that stupid 'number cycle' one which only someone who is illiterate could get wrong. The funny involved though, was when some person who probably thought they were mighty smart for guessing it, rang up and - shock - guessed it right. Taddaaa! screamed the television pronouncing the caller correct, followed by Hotdogs - "I think that's right.." and checking. After the correct sound. After.

Another game this evening was 'How Many Triangles' which, I know, is not actually the name one should give to a game unless one is a moron. Now there were obviously many, many triangles on the screen, they were all over the place, there were heaps of them, and some moron named Nabuma or Nadoona or My Doona or something that Hotdogs sure can't pronounce calls in and guesses TEN? TEN, Madoona? Ten? Did you even look at the screen? Did you just count the number of fingers on your hand or something? Augh

Alright, later on was a game titled something dumb, but it was basically 'How many 1's between 1 and 111." Some dude named Simon rang in, and Simon being Hotdogs' real name (Sorry to dissapoint anyone who thought Hotdogs was his actual name) was like "hey, our name is ancient jerkfacian for 'talented!' So Simon proceeded to guess the wrong answer, talented indeed. Then the next caller guessed 111. Just think about that.. how many 1's between 1 and 111, and he guessed 111. This guy was stupider than that Madonna freak from before, this guy, just, what? Its like he called and saw the number on the screen and repeated it as best his underdeveloped motorskills could, like some prayer. 111....

The only other stupid things I can think to mention is that Hotdogs mentioned he failed maths in high school, which coincides with his previous mention of having failed english. What did you pass, Hotdogs? Did you even graduate from high school?

And before I forget, the title of today's post is actually a quote from tonight's episode. I'll not go into details because.. well.. it's not as funny that way.

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September 13th: Hit me with your dialing digit.

Sep. 13th, 2005 | 01:48 am

When the show first started tonight, Hotdogs was wearing a suit, everything was going well and I was in panic, because like... fuck, i'd have nothing to update this journal with.Then this gem came along during the game "Hotdogs Hotlist"
Hotdogs has decided its time to call someone and see if they answer the phone with a special code given the night before. "I think we've got a call going on" *20 seconds of TV silence and Hotdogs smiling in a moron-like fashion* "nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno I don't think we do" *phone starts ringing* "Ok then"
This might not be funny being read on a journal, but take a look at the guy in the avatar, and then imagine this scene. Its so delicious to watch him screw up. He also said "we have a shipload of callers for this game, and NO! I didn't swear" W.T.F Hotdogs? Your adlib skills are astounding.
Next came the BEST moment of the entire show, and possibly one of the best yet. Whilst enticing people to call in, Mr. Dogs came up with the brilliant line of "Get your digit, your digit dialing digit dialing and call me!" Once again, I was forced to question who exactly was responsible for even suggesting this guy have a TV show.
Hotdogs appears to have problems with hearing, because whenever he asks to take someone's name, he has to ask like six fucking times before he gets it. It must've slipped his mind to do so this evening because he thought a guy named Colin, was actually named Holland.
It went as follows:
"Whats your name"
"Holland? Thats interesting who gave you that one?"
"I'm good... Oh... oh its colin"
Colin, obviously high on glue as most of the callers to this show are, wondered why the fuck this douche was saying Holland, and to keep the conversation going, yelled "HOW YOU GOIN DUDE?" Sometimes the people who call this show are as idiotic as the host. Actually, there was one smart caller, who decided to hang up before even talking to Hotdogs. Bravo to this caller for not talking to Hotdogs and for getting your hangup tone on the TV.
"Kyle hung up on me?" He sure fuckin did.
Hotdogs final error of the evening came at the end of a very long and drawn out game that took almost the entire episode to solve. You had to add up the numbers on a movie ticket, despite the fact the name of the game was "Count the numbers" not "Add the numbers"
Anyway, the game continued for so long, that Hotdogs narrows down the answer to between 597 and 600. This leaves two numbers. One person calls, guesses 599. Incorrect. A second girl calls, guesses 598... This is obviously the correct fucking number, but it doesn't stop Hotdogs from checking if it is correct, even though the stupid asshole eliminated all other possibilities himself.

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September 10th. Still just a potato.

Sep. 10th, 2005 | 02:32 am

Today I only started watching the Uplate Gameshow at 1:30am because it's not hard to work out that being asleep is far more entertaining and less frustrating than watching the Uplate Gameshow, so I was only able to catch a few really stupid things. The first stupid thing I noticed was that the game was remarkably similar to the game from last night about counting fives, in fact, it was the same game, only with sixes, way to go Channel Ten and Hotdogs.

The best thing that happned all night, was when Hotdogs began to lose his temper at the stupid callers, telling them strongly that the number was between 19530 and 19540, and that he'd told them already it was below 19534. Of course the next moron who rang in, after Hotdogs asking them "Hello?" about five times, guessed 19544, and then the one after that 19538. Hotdogs finally told someone who asked that he was not good, he was frustrated, and he was rewarded with a caller who get the correct answer.

The next game certainly appeared ridiculously easy to me, and it was. The very first bogany caller got it right!

Then it was how many squares! Not unlike the how many triangles that caused us much trouble the first time around. Hotdogs is running out of ideas.
Another hilarious note is that Hotdogs greeted someone with the phrase "What's crackin'"

And then luckily for all involved, the show ended and I got to watch MadTV.

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September 9th. Total fucking idiot.

Sep. 9th, 2005 | 02:17 am

To begin the evening, the game that was played, was completely fucking ridiculous. You had to add up how many fives there were in a square, and there was written fives and roman fives and numeral fives. Now, its hard to fuck up presenting this right? All you say is the number to call and explain to get the answer you add up all the fives. Well, hotdogs, being the excellent host he is, manages to LOWER the IQ of Australians by saying "Count the fives". People are calling, and guessing numbers like 9 and 14. So either people are really stupid (not understanding that fives cannot add up to 9 and 14) or Hotdogs just cost them $200. What a moron. To add to this, later he continually said "theres more than 125" as opposed to "its more than 125" further suggesting that you count the fives, as opposed to ADDING THEM! WHICH IS TOTALLY FUCKING STUPID AS THE GAME WAS CALLED ADD THE FIVES YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!

The next fuckup that came from hotdogs was one of the best yet.

There he was, blabbing about whatever the fuck it is that this guy talks about for an hour and a half of nothing. So then he says "And I'll see you after the commercial break!" or something to that effect. He then smiles at the camera, expecting an ad break... an ad break that never came.
He's sitting there looking like an utter fucking twit, and after many moments of TV death, he finally forces a fake laugh and says "Or maybe I won't, whats going o-" *Commercial Break* WHY THE FUCK IS THIS GUY ON TV?!

Tonights final recap of Hotdogs dicketry is as follows.

A foreign woman with an english accent calls, and after Hotdogs says hello like, EIGHT FUCKING TIMES she responds. To top that off, she actually wins the game. The word was Principal. Awesome. Anyway, the show then continues on to the "Bonus Board" which is too annoying to explain. uffice to say, she loses at the bonus board, and Hotdogs goes back to his usual position.
This is where the glory comes.
He's talking to her on the phone and he says "You just won 300 dollars!"
She replies in a heavy accent, which was too heavy to understand. Hotdogs being such an excellent Live TV act looks confused for a moment, then says "You just won 300 dollars!" and then the phone was cut so the public couldn't hear the woman anymore.

What was his thought process... 'Damn, I didn't understand that, what do I do... maybe if I repeat myself, THEN SHE WILL TOO! Yeah, that works' "You just won 300 Dollars!"

What a fucking idiot.

I'll update this as often as me and my friend are willing to watch Hotdogs make an utter ass of himself. Its always quality people. Always.

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Uplate Gameshow!

Sep. 9th, 2005 | 02:14 am

Ok, so we're totally late night people, and as such are forced to watch this piece of shit television show called UpLate Gameshow. How it goes, this idiot guy from Big Brother in Australia hosts this show that has NO CONTENT AT ALL!
People phone in, and try to win money, but because the host is so horribly bad at what he does we've decided to make a livejournal to document his stupidity. Thats what we're about.

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